I am 26 years old and 26 years young. Everyday, we are getting older and losing more and more time on this Earth. That said, I don’t need any more drama from the internet. I don’t mind having an open discussion, but I don’t need to be name called and ridiculed.
Sure, I could have used better words on Facebook….but in my own experiences (yes, it’s plural) I have come to the conclusion that those particular ones were acts of selfishness. Everyone else’s may not be. I am wrong in that instance.
What my mother did to me, my sister, and my brother was wrong. I have since forgiven her, but for her to go off on me on social media and say that it was my fault it happened is ridiculous.
"Friends" on Facebook then started making status updates about me (not mentioning me by name), so I felt pressured to update my status and fill people in on my past, which made me feel the way I did.
After doing so, I realized that was ridiculous for this to even be happening. If I hadn’t have shared my feelings on a stupid site, then this shit wouldn’t have hit the fan in the first place. Would have been a completely different approach if I had said it in the company of true friends, face to face. Even if they didn’t like it, it would have been a nice discussion.
I’ve grown to hate Facebook and Twitter nowadays. People don’t ask how you’re doing any more when they see you. They don’t text. They don’t call. They don’t have to if you’re updating everything all the time.
If people wanna know how I’m doing or what I’m doing, they’ll have to pretend its 2002 again.
In that case…..
….I think about writing a book entirely about my life as kid/teen growing up with such an f’d up family.
However, the last thing I want to give them is fame.
What a beautiful surprise on the circle ❤️💛💚💙💜so happy to be here for @kristenlpugh and @collystrings
I feel that there is a lot of confusion out there.
So, here I am, going on record.
I guess it’s good to get this off my chest anyways.
I don’t really like talking about this situation to my friends, even if they ask, because I just want to enjoy the time with them. My whole life has been filled with negativity and that’s why I like to focus on the positivity instead. Talking about the past makes me feel like a dog chasing its own tail.
I’m not saying I don’t bitch about the little things to my friends…we all do that. It’s part of it.
Angie and I are not talking.
Yes, this was my decision.
Was it hers? No.
Was it necessary? Absolutely.
Has she been blocked the entire time? No.
Did you give her a couple chances? Yes.
Did it work out? No.
All this happened over silly shit. OK, well, not all of it is silly. However, a lot of it is shit.
So, I found out from a family friend while making dinner plans that Angie had been fired from her job. I was completely clueless about this. I asked her how she found out, and she told me my father told her.
I called my father asking him what was going on. He told me Angie had gotten fired from her job and that Angie didn’t want me to know.
That’s fine. I decided to respect her wishes.
Maybe she just needed her space and eventually after a couple days she would talk to me.
I immediately told Kristen about Angie. I told her we weren’t supposed to know, according to my father. She said “okay” and that she would play dumb if Ang came to her.
A few days later, after seeing her post distressing things on facebook and twitter, I decided to reach out. I called her on the phone and asked her if everything was okay. She asks me why, and I tell her that I saw she was posting things on sites and felt something was wrong. She immediately starts yelling at me, not talking, and asking if I knew what was going on. She then said she had spoken to Kristen earlier that day about losing her job. She asked me if Kristen told me. I said no. She continued to yell at me. I continued to play dumb. She continued to yell, calling me a liar and such. I told her I didn’t want to argue. I just wanted to call and see if she was OK. I told her I was hanging up now.
Now, I’ll admit that I should have just said “yes, I know what’s going on” but I didn’t want to throw dad under the bus for telling me. I’ll also admit that whole conversation was just stupid. Just a dumb little argument where both sides were wrong. What gets me is that she couldn’t see past the fact that she felt I was lying to her instead of me just flat out trying to be nice and be there for her. I can get if she was upset about losing her job. If she had been more calm, she probably would have heard me tell her both the jobs I work at were hiring.
In a perfect world, she could just say, “Alex. Its okay if you know. I could use someone to talk to anyways.” Then end it at that.
In a perfect world….
Couple days later:
Kristen’s friend on facebook posted a job opening. Angie is friends with this same person. Kristen applied for the job. A few minutes later, Kristen gets a text from angie along the lines of “Did you apply for that job?” Kristen replied, “Yes! You should apply, too!” Angie replied back with, “K” and then texted again, “Don’t you already HAVE a couple jobs? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
At this time, Kristen is just dumbfounded.
Kristen had apologized to ang, and told her that she has been looking for a full time gig for the last 6 months. College was almost over for her.
According to Kristen, and she can correct me if im wrong, but angie had then called Kristen crying and berating her at high volume about her various life issues. Kristen tried to calm her down and talk to her, but angie hung up on her.
I decided to go to Howl at the moon later that night. I knew angie was going to be there. I decided that if she wasn’t drunk (hells bells) I would pull her aside and tell her everything and that I’m sorry.
But, she was buzzed. Not drunk…but almost there.
As soon as she saw me, she tried talking to me about it in the middle of that loud-ass bar. I told her, “Now is not the time or the place. Lets just have fun!” She stomps off.
She comes back not even a minute later. “Alex I just wanna say….”
I had to stop her again. I was cool with her and told her that if she wants to talk, we can do it another time and place but now was not a good time.”
She stomps away again.
She comes back 5 minutes later. She asks me about the pacers and this and that. As Im talking about the pacers to her, she interrupts me and starts talking about our situation.
At this point, I tell her if she really wants to chat, we can go on the patio. I told her she has to let me talk, and ill let her talk.
We go out on the patio. I tell her everything. She immediately thinks I’m lying about the truth as well.
She then says, “Okay, alex. If youre telling the truth, why didn’t you just say you knew?”
“because I was trying to respect your wishes”
Angie says “we are family. Don’t keep things from your family.”
I told her, “If we are family, then maybe you should tell your family when something like this happens.”
She takes her beer bottle and jabs me in the forehead with it. She swings again, and misses.
I follow her back into the bar. Mark, Eric, and others are there.
I simply told her that she was not welcome to the Christmas party this year.
She takes her bottle again and jabs me in the forehead with it. She tried striking me again, but it took Eric and Mark BOTH to hold her back.
At this time, my forehead was bleeding. It wasn’t gushing blood our anything, but there was a cut.
I spoke with a buddy of mine that is a bouncer there and told me she had left.
Meanwhile, on twitter, she is posting things like “Didn’t hit him hard enough.” And other ridiculous tweets.
As soon as I got to my car, I blocked her on my phone, blocked her on facebook, and twitter. I didn’t want communication with her. Felt it was for the best.
Around New years, I called her. I asked her if she wanted to get lunch and talk about everything. She immediately started crying. She said she had to go. She told me she would get back to me with a schedule. She never did.
So she was unblocked. For a couple months.
There were several occasions where she would text me and tell me how stupid all of this was. There was a time when I would have agreed with her, until she hit me.
Literally every time we spoke through text, she would want to argue, name call, say she would hit me again…and then beg me to come over for an “adult conversation”. These conversations happened few times in a three month period. It even got to a point where her boyfriend would start texting me, saying that im being ridiculous and that he would be embarrassed to be hurt by that bottle. Said “ive seen tampons with more blood on them”. How is that helping? And why is it that you are okay with hitting?
I’ve been there for that girl since day one. When Jake kicked her out (twice), when she left our dog of 14 years on my doorstep like a bastard in a basket….we were partners in crime through the worst part of our lives.
My mother has laid a hand on me. My father has laid a hand on me. And now, the one person I never thought would do it, has done so.
She doesn’t even think it’s a big deal.
“I just tried tipping off your hat”
“ive had bigger scrapes from shaving”
Real text messages, by the way.
I told her that it doesn’t matter. She still had intent to hurt, and that she didn’t and still doesn’t care, and that’s where the problem is.
She even thinks Im the one keeping Kristen from talking to ang.
Kristen is her own woman. Shes a grown adult and she can make her own decisions. If Angie was never a friend to her, why should she be a friend to ang?
Jordan and I even tried going over to her place to have an “adult conversation”. When we got there, the place reeked of pot, and there were bongs and paraphernalia on the coffee table. Really? REALLY? I don’t care if youre into that crap, but at you can at LEAST be sober for this adult conver….yea you get it.
She started yelling because I “brought the wrong ginger”. Only brought him because Donovan was there. He had no business being there the same as Jordan. Plus I didn’t wanna go into the lions den alone.
As soon as she started yelling, we turned around and walked out the door.
Anyways, after many series of text messages from angie where she just wanted to argue and name call and beg for adult conversations (what?) I decided that this was a no win situation for either of us. I told her I was blocking her again. I asked her that if our relationship and her relationship with Kristen meant that much to her, she should look back at her text messages, put herself in our shoes, and see how she talks. I told her that I hope the next time we speak, she will be more grounded and not in attack mode.
That was April 7th.
Which brings us up to date now.
I see shes been posting things towards Kristen and I on twitter and Instagram. That’s great and all, but what good is that doing?
Shes been talking to people and saying she just wants to talk to Kristen. That she wants to be a part of her life, but Kristen has her blocked. This person asked her if she knew where her mom lived, to which she said yes. This person told her she could write Kristen a letter and put it in her mothers mailbox. She said no.
Heres the fun thing:
Her biggest, saddest excuse of all: I don’t know where the live. They moved.
She has been told we are living in the same complex. It’s a very small complex. Her friends that smoke with them live DOWN THE STREET from us. I could throw rocks at the dudes truck from where I park if I wanted. If angie really wanted to talk to Kristen, she could drive 0.5 miles from her apt, find kristens car or my car, go into the building our car is parked in front of, look at the mailbox with our names on the front, and knock on the door.
Simple as that.
A good friend of mine told me that would never happen.
And it wont. That’s why I reached out in the first place.
There’s so much more to say…so many things to share…but this is all VERY exhausting.
I do hope someday, everyone can be cool again. At this point, though, I know how my family can be. They thrive on negativity/drama and that’s just not how I roll.
If you read all this, I applaud you. Just don’t go blabbering to her or her close friends about it. Im sure she has her own little story to tell, as well.
I hope she changes, sooner than later. Not just for me or Kristen or friends, but for herself.
Finished book one tonight and four chapters deep into book two. I feel like they’re even better now that I’m 26 years old and not 12-13, which was the last time I read them. Reading these books as an adult is a neat experience. You can really appreciate all the little points you missed as a kid….the silver linings that went under your nose you just can’t ignore now that you’re older.